Dog Haiku
Love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten mouse.
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be
Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds—I celebrate
By kissing your face.
I sound the alarm!
Paper boy—come to kill us all—
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush.
Hello, Spot—Sniff this and weep.
I sound the alarm!
Garbage man—come to kill us all—
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
I Hate my choke chain—
Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot—no greater bliss—well,
Maybe catching mice.
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.
The cat is not all
Bad—she dots the neighborhood
With Tootsie Rolls.
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
My owners' mood is
Romantic—I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.
Dig under fence—why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.
Neutered Dog Haiku
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